“Look at my bottom in my diaper, isn’t that cute, yes?!”
Oh, good lord, wat. More at Youtube.
Blog of the now: Not Always Right
Not Always Right is a blog made up of quotes from workers who have dealt with morons on the front line. It’s frequently updated so always great when you have nothing to do on the net, bored. It’s also really hilarious, here’s my favourite:
Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Middle Eastern?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Egyptian?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “What are you?”
Me: “Chinese.”
(customer puts on offended face)
Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”
Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”
Me: *mouth wide open*
Internetting should require a license
via TIWYD
More funny Facebook status updates at This Is Why You’re Deleted
No, this is why Americans are fat
"We saw her walking. She was perfectly capable of walking."
You better be sorry
FOR those not in the know, this is Emily Clark — better known as Youtube’s 22 year old, Scottish Twilight obsessive nuttymadam3575 — and this is her latest abortion of a video-log in which she apologises to her fans and ‘haters’ because she may not be able to make any more videos.
Her trainwreck of a life is finally getting to her as her job hangs in the balance after “breaking something expensive” at her workplace (some speculate that the item was actually her office chair, which was just 2 days away from retirement). As usual, her latest vlog features loltastic tears. Which is completely understandable! Everyone is going through hard times due to a recession and losing your job is a terrifying and realistic prospect for many people at the moment.
But they’re worrying about being able to afford college for their sons and daughters, their pensions and some are worrying about how they’re even going to eat tonight.
However, nuttymadam is panicking about losing her goddamn iPhone and her mother, so loving that she will take and sell her laptop if repayments aren’t kept up. And most annoyingly, she’s crying, in public, in front of 19,000 people so far, that she might not make it to a Fucking. Twilight. Convention.
And, after a quick review of the convention’s details, it’s not even that big a deal. She’s blowing either £125 or £60 just on tickets to enter a room full of other Twilight obsessives and the privilege of meeting a guy who played a teacher in the film and guy-who-is-replacing-a-guy-in-the-film-in-the-next-film-and-who-is-the-brother-of-the-main-character. She’s actually crying over not being able to go. Tears. Actually fucking tears. There are thousands dying every day of starvation, AIDS, whatever – she’s crying over this.
At 1.38, you can pin-point the exact moment she realises there will be no more donuts. And the soul-crushing moment of tears at 1.40 will no doubt become the face of our economic trouble, and 50 years from now people will look back on her wretched face and experience the true hardship of our times.
That’s right, people. The true true tragedy of 2009. No Twilight convention for a girl who should frankly know better than to sink her money into phones that cost around £600 a year with a service plan/contract and to consume herself so completely with a website, get into so much debt and then make stupid decisions at her workplace.
And a 22 year old, a grown woman for god’s sake, should see that melodramatically running through her complete list of financial failings and the consequences in a public forum is absolutely ridiculous and boils down to attention-seeking.
I’m going to strangle a kitten-shaped stress ball.
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